We have spent years of our marriage fighting battles as insignificant as two inches.
It starts with two inches. It quickly turns into …
He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t care about what I want! He always has to have the last word!! He always has to be right!!! It’s all about him all the time!!!!
Last night I asked Aaron to hang these two small pieces in our kitchen.
Miracle #1 is that he did it this morning, instead of weeks later after I had asked him (or if I’m being honest – probably more like nagged) over and over.
As he carefully measured and nailed into the wall I didn’t stand over him; I didn’t watch over his shoulder. I left him to the work that I had asked him to do.
When he called for me to come look I realized that he had done it all wrong.
And I told him so in a very nice way.
Can you make out the nail hole about two inches above where the “Believe” sign is hung. That is where he had originally placed the piece.
You agree with me that, clearly, that would have been too high, right?
Agree with me now or you’re no longer my friend!
Just kidding! 🙂
I can’t imagine why anyone would think that I could possibly be difficult to be married to.
I mean it just looked all wrong. I launched into my clearly correct arguments based on years of research and study ….
hours scrolling through Pinterest,
time spent riffling through design magazines in doctors’ office waiting rooms,
and multiple viewings of many, many HGTV and TLC design shows. (Remember Trading Spaces? Paige and Ty were my hot Friday night dates for years!)
Aaron then set forth his argument as to why he was clearly correct based on his measurements (?) and attempts to align the pieces with other pictures on the wall (?)
Ugh. Who does that?!?
Trying to collect myself, with a deep breath, I say: That’s not how the magazines say to do it.
He says: I’m not a magazine.
I say: Clearly. You’re wrong.
And then I do catch myself (or more like the Holy Spirit prompts me) and I shut my mouth.
It’s just a tiny little picture and it’s just two inches.
But it’s wrong!
But it’s ok! Let it go!!
I allow the Holy Spirit to shut me up but that doesn’t stop me from making a plan of my own. I won’t say anything more about it, I’ll let it go, but the next time Aaron is out of the house I’ll fix it myself.
See how easily I fall back into my own habits of pride and self-sufficiently. God has more work to do in me. Clearly.
I pray Psalm 129:23: Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
Merely moments later, after Aaron has finished eating his three corndogs for breakfast (don’t judge!) ;–)
I hear from the kitchen: Come in here and show me where you want this.
Oh my gosh!
You guys, this may not seem like much to you but this is huge!
It wasn’t that long ago that two inches would have been the impetus for a battle that would have lasted for days and days.
Two inches turning into ….
He doesn’t care about me.
He never helps me at all!
He never takes out the trash.
He never loads the dishwasher. He is always leaving his dirty dishes in the sink and he never even rinses them out!
I do everything in this darn place! NO ONE EVER HELPS ME AT ALL!!!!!
See how easily it is for me to go back there? I lived there for years and years!
But – that is no longer where we live.
Jesus is in our house. Jesus is in our hearts and because of Him we allow one another second chances and third chances and sometimes Aaron needs fourth chances. (Just kidding! Me too!!)
We are able to extend to one another the grace, mercy, and forgiveness that has been given to us and that, my friends, is truly a miracle!
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19