So, if you have been following me on facebook or here on the blog recently you may have noticed just a few posts about this little book.
If it’s been a bit much, I’m not even gonna apologize – you need to read this book. 😉
Really. Like right now.
Or you could wait until April and read it along with Online Bible Study (OBS) at Proverbs 31 Ministries.
You can sign up to register for the online Bible study right here:
But, either way, read it.
And if you would like to win your very own copy of this fabulous book (not my copy that has been highlighted, underlined, and dog-eared, but a brand-new copy) all you have to do is subscribe to our blog.
(To subscribe just look to the right of your screen. You may have to scroll down just a bit and you’ll see a box to input your email address. Once you do that just click on the grey “Subscribe” button and you’re all set. You’ll receive an email when there is a new post on the blog and you won’t miss a thing.)
Oh, and, you need to subscribe by Monday night (March 7) at midnight to be entered in the giveaway, to win a free copy of …
5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit
by Nicki Koziarz
Okay, enough of that, and now back to our regularly scheduled programming …
So – why, you may ask is this book so darn good?
Well, for starters, the stuff I am expected to say:
1 – Nicki is an honest and engaging writer.
2 – She is transparent and funny.
3 – 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit is full of practical Biblical truth applicable to your everyday life right now.
And y’all – I’m not just saying those things! It is all absolutely true!
But, one of the things I most love about this book is the fact that I could easily read and comprehend it in the middle of my crazy boys-jumping-on-me, dog barking, TV-blaring life.
This book doesn’t require a theology degree or a seminary background to understand.
But, don’t think that means this book is fluff!
No, not at all! God has used Nicki’s words to speak straight to my heart and to show me areas of my life that I need to change. Places and circumstances in which I have been a quitter and, in some cases given up before I have really even started.
And, before you say you’re not a quitter ….. 😉
Haven’t we all quit something?
That new diet?
The daily exercise regimen?
Reading the Bible every single day?
Sticking to a spending budget?
Maintaining a consistent routine with the kids?
I think I’m 5 for 5 there.
But where this book most convicted me was in my marriage. I have shared some of the struggles of my marriage and just how far Aaron and I have come but, through this book, God has shown me things that, honestly, I really didn’t wanna see.
For example, how often in my marriage have I been what Nicki refers to as a “quiet quitter”, just settling for what is easy and comfortable?
My marriage is SO much better than it was, but is this all God has for us?
Will it be easy to change almost 40 years of my own personal habits, thoughts, and feelings?
Is is possible to change with God?
Do I want a more fulfilling, more loving, more satisfying marriage?
I am so not proud to share this, but I really saw myself in the way Nicki described “emotional stinginess” on page 128 of her book.
“Emotional stinginess is easy, and it comes pretty natural to most of us. It starts as kids, Why is sharing such an impossible concept to teach to a two-year-old? Like us, they are born with a sin nature pulling them toward themselves: their needs, their desires, their entitlement.”
And my sin nature really rears it’s ugly head in my marriage.
Instead of asking: “How can I serve my husband today?”
My sin nature asks: “What has he done for me lately?”
My sin nature refuses to serve him, until and unless he serves me.
My sin nature says: “You love me first and then I’ll love you.”
My sin nature keeps score.
Y’all, I’ve done that for my entire marriage.
And, while I do believe that I am doing better, laying down that scorecard more and more, it isn’t so easy to break the mentality, especially when I am overwhelmed and have no idea even how or where to even begin.
So I love the steps that Nicki lays out on page 135.
1 – Do not withhold good from others.
You’re probably not like me. You’ve probably never withheld love or affection or even conversation from your husband because he didn’t take out the trash or didn’t help with bedtime. I’m sure you’ve never done that, but I have. Plenty of times.
2 – Be generous with what we put out to this world.
Why can’t I just give to my husband without expecting anything in return? Why do I always wait for him to take the initiative, to make the first move, to do the first nice thing? Why can’t I just be generous and be loving toward my husband?
3 – Giving always wins.
Man, isn’t this so counter-cultural to our world? Not going there, but look at the current state of politics in our country. Culture says: “If I don’t look out for myself, who will? If I don’t take care of me, who will? It’s a dog-eat-dog world, it’s either you or me, and I choose me.”
But Jesus said that the greatest love is to “lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) I am so not there but I do really want to be a woman who loves her husband well.
In chapter 8 of 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, Nicki asks: “Right now, what is it like to be on the other side of me?”
When I ask myself what it must be like to be on the other side of me in my marriage I am not so proud of my answer.
I am stubborn, selfish, and full of pride.
Pride says: “I’m doing my best! I’m doing way more than he does!”
Nicki suggests that instead of looking only at my husband’s faults, instead I can “pause, pray and ask the Holy Spirit what I need to change right now.”
Me, not my husband. Look at my heart, not his.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
And then, if I really want my marriage to grow and to thrive, I have work to do.
If Indeed I have the faith that I profess, if I truly believe that God can and will work miracles in my marriage then I have to put in the work. As Nicki writes about Ruth, I have to “take that initial step and choose what feels unnatural.”
Go out of my way to do something nice for my husband.
It’s not gonna be easy and I’m sure there will be many times during the process that I will just wanna throw in the towel, go back to what is familiar, easy and natural but as Galatians 6:9 says:
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Don’t give up!
In closing, I want to share these final words from Nicki:
“And as I think about you, on the other side of these words, trying to move forward in faith. I feel like you will, at some point, ask yourself, Is this worth it?”
So, whaddya say – Is it worth it? To persevere? To run the race God has set before you? To be faithful in the little things so that He can trust you with more? Is it worth it to follow through despite your feelings?
Is it worth it to be a woman God and others can count on?
I say yes. What about you? 😉
Thank you Nicki Koziarz for not giving up! Thank you for following through on your commitment to writing this message that God laid upon your heart. I know that many women’s lives are about to be changed because of you.
And don’t forget to subscribe to our blog (over to the right of this post) by midnight Monday, March 7 to be entered to win a copy of 5 Habits of a Woman Who Doesn’t Quit.
Thanks, friend! Don’t quit!!